Leadership is often portrayed as a glamorous role filled with pivotal decisions and authority. What isn’t shown in that picture-perfect portrayal is the loneliness that accompanies the role—especially as you scale your organization. I’ve been in the shoes of a ‘boss’ for over a decade, owning multiple businesses, and I have learned that leadership is isolating. You know how the saying goes, it’s lonely at the top.

The Shield That Wears Down As the person at the top, you often find yourself acting as a shield, protecting your team from the unpleasantness of tough decisions or unhappy clients. In a week, the number of times I assure someone that I’ll take the fall if things go south is more than I care to count. It’s not because I want to be a martyr; it’s because it’s my role to absorb the discomfort so my team doesn’t have to. But when you’re already perceived as the bad guy, every dent in that shield impacts you and only you.

The Limits of Friendship and Transparency It’s a balancing act. As a leader, you’re not privy to the casual friendships that form within your team, which in itself can be isolating. The transparency you wish you could offer is often limited by necessity. You can’t always share every nuance of your decisions, even though you know it would help others understand your rationale.

The Masks We Wear Then there are the assumptions and rumors that circulate, often uncorrected. You walk around fully aware of the narratives being spun about you—narratives based on incomplete information. It’s like being at your own trial where you are not allowed to testify.

Leaders Are People, Too. We are not unfeeling robots programmed to make tough decisions; we’re human beings. We’re aware of how unpopular decisions impact perceptions of us. In the nonprofit world, even the salaries don’t compensate for the emotional toll this role takes.

Leadership is hard. It’s exhausting. It’s also incredibly rewarding, which is why many of us stick with it despite the challenges. But let’s start acknowledging the emotional weight that comes with it.

Let’s Start the Conversation. If you’re a leader, do you relate to this? If you’re an employee, does this change how you view your bosses? Either way, let’s open up this discussion because understanding each other is the first step toward making any environment, work or otherwise, a better place for everyone involved.